Originally Posted by forester814

Please tell me you do not view your mother as a
victim.

Why not? She was 26 years old when I was born. She grew up with a father, why didn't she at least try to make sure I had one?

I don't know her, but since she was (is) a single mother, I view her as a courageous, hardworking woman, doing what she had to do to raise you (and any siblings you may have) on her own.

She did. And I think she did a great job considering. But that doesn't excuse the fact that she as a 26 year old woman didn't make sure she had a stable household for her offspring. I grew up in a 1 bedroom cinderblock duplex on the outskirts of the projects. We were not dirt poor, but we were definitely on the poor side of comfortable. My father was a Morehouse graduate. He's doing just fine. I blame his ass too.

It really sounds like you are laying all the blame on the woman here. It sounds as if you are saying that if a woman doesn't want to be pregnant, she shouldn't have sex... because that risks being an unmarried mother. And if she does, and gets pregnant, and the man doesn't stick around, it's HER fault for choosing poorly or taking the risk.

And it's not? There are soo many ways to not get pregnant in the first place that it makes no sense for it to happen as often as it does. I don't favor abortion, but I also don't favor sleeping around without taking care of consequences. I was with my wife for 10 years before she got pregnant. But I promised her, if she did get pregnant, I would be ther for her no matter what. My son and my wife mean the world to me and I cannot for the life of me understand how a guy can just make a child and leave him/her. I havge a cousin with like 5 kids by 3 women. That's simply ignorant. On his and the woman's part.

Where does anyone say that if a man doesn't want to be a father, HE shouldn't have sex? No one says that. Because from what I hear, guys think it's COOL to have lots of sex with different partners, with little or no commitment. It's a mark of masculinity and manliness.

Again, read where I said that women are the "gate keepers". Especially in this day and age. With disease and children looming, you would think women wouldn't even be arguing this. Guys don't care. I know, because I slept with a few women that I would rather not remember. But then I matured. Women are supposed to mature faster than men. And with the responsibility that they have, they need to start using that maturity a little more.

But a woman who does that?
Slut who gets what she deserves.
Incredible double-standard.

As a gay woman, you of all people ought to know just how unfair life can sometimes be. As a person dependent on a dialysis machine for the past 17 years, I know I do.

This is one of those topics that makes me glad to be a lesbian... but my daughter will have to deal with this issue as she matures into a young lady, and I would hate to think that this is the attitude she is STILL going to find out there.