You have stated that men do most of the heavy lifting, meaning that men's work is more important. My statement is relating to the fact that what is considered women's work, is also the important work. And men contribute to that in a lesser fashion in most cases. If they are out being the bread winner, they don't have as much time to contribute to that kind of work. It sounds now like you are trying to have your cake and eat it too.

And my example is not given to illicit advice about my relationship, nutty. Even when my husband does pitch in around the house, it usually is not to my standards anyway. I would not divorce him over having to do most of the household work, and that includes the finances and bill paying, I'm making a point about what I see men doing. And as I said, even when women work full time, they still have to do most everything else. And my kids are not excuses to stay, they are the important work of which I spoke.

And no Gary, my husband doesn't fix the car, and my older daughter is usually the one mowing the lawn, or I do it. So don't assume that I don't work outside as well. I like it to look fairly decent, so I have to do it sometimes.

And nutty, I have a great man in my life and I don't wish for any other one. It is very hard to find a man today, who works steadily, is faithful, and isn't out at the bar with his buddies after work. And let me tell you, from what I know of the husbands of friends and aquaintences, most husbands aren't contributing in a meaningful way to the houshold chores, it isn't just mine.