The Department of Homeland Security has released a report which reveals the shocking reality of the terrorist threat against these United States. It turns out that in Indiana alone there are 8,591 potential terrorist targets, which is - strangely enough - fifty percent more than the 5,687 targets in New York state.

There are really more potential targets in "Heartland" states than in a giant metropolis like New York? Yes indeed - assuming that Al Qaeda is planning to attack "Old MacDonald's Petting Zoo, the Amish Country Popcorn factory, the Mule Day Parade, the Sweetwater Flea Market and an unspecified 'Beach at End of a Street,'" according to the New York Times. That's right folks: "Beach at End of a Street" is in serious danger.

Funnily enough...

The database is used by the Homeland Security Department to help divvy up the hundreds of millions of dollars in antiterrorism grants each year, including the program announced in May that cut money to New York City and Washington by 40 percent, while significantly increasing spending for cities including Louisville, Ky., and Omaha.

...which explains a lot. See, while New York listed things like "The Statue of Liberty" and "The Empire State Building," they forgot to list things like, "Joe's Hot Dog Stand" and "XXX Video Rental." And that's why they saw a big drop in funds to fight terrorism. Don't believe me? Check this out:

In addition to the petting zoo, in Woodville, Ala., and the Mule Day Parade in Columbia, Tenn., the auditors questioned many entries, including "Nix's Check Cashing," "Mall at Sears," "Ice Cream Parlor," "Tackle Shop," "Donut Shop," "Anti-Cruelty Society" and "Bean Fest."

Bean Fest. So does the Department of Homeland Security find this embarrassing at all?

"We don't find it embarrassing," said the department's deputy press secretary, Jarrod Agen. "The list is a valuable tool."

Sure it is. A valuable tool for a bunch of tools.
http://journals.democraticunderground.com/top10/252