Because, you know, all Jews totally think the same. Judaism isn't just eating potato latkes and complaining about the rabbi's last sermon, it's a HIVE MIND.

We're actually from the center of the Earth. Also, we're radioactive. Don't tell anyone though, or we will have to kill you with our secret psychic powers. We are the Jews. Resistance is futile.

(This might just be one of the most sarcastic things I have ever written. Maybe I should change my screen name to The Acidic Jew (PUN!) or something.)