Instill in your daughter a strong sense of self worth. Tell her to guard her virginity with all she is worth because you only lose it once and if the person who you give it to isn't worthy, it's a sickening feeling if you meet someone later who you wish you had saved it for.

And for the record, it's not an "attitude", it's simply a fact that women hold the key to their childs life. It's up to you to make sure your child is born into a safe, happy, prosperous nest. Even as a gay woman, I'm sure you know that.

I gotta watch Hell's Kitchen.

Decent advice at the end there. Thanks.

But I am just stunned to see that I did not misunderstand your position somehow. You really do put all of the responsibility on the woman, and none on the man. And you believe that is the prevalent attitude out there.

Any woman having sex at any time had better be sure ahead of time that her partner will be a good father who will stick around forever, in case she gets pregnant. And if he says he will, and then runs off, that's her fault too. Really? Is that what you are really saying? Because I am still having trouble believing that's your (or anyone's) view.

When I asked why guys aren't told not to have sex if they don't want to be fathers, all you said was, "Guys don't care" and mature slower than women. That's your excuse for laying it all on the woman? Men are immoral and childish by nature, and it just can't be helped? Rather than suggesting that guys need to man up, you say it is entirely up to the woman to insure that the child has two decent parents?

That is so sad and so screwed up, and so sexist, that I don't even know where to start.

Other than to ask, with the advice you have given me on how to raise my daughter, how will you raise and advise your son on these matters? (It's rhetorical, I'm not asking you to defend your parenting skills to me.)

If this is truly "how it is" out there, I have more reason than ever to fear for my daughter's future.

Come on Forester, you're a big girl. Look around you. Women running around half naked. People "hooking up" everywhere. The "natural family" under attack. Marriage rates are declining. Single parenthood skyrocketing.
Damn right you better fear for your daughter.
As for my son, I'm gonna try to be as strong a father and male figure to him as I can. Show how much I love and respect his mother and try to instill a strong sense of family. When I saw the doctor cut my wife's stomach when my son was born, my bond to her and him was sealed as far as I'm concerned. I don't see how anyone can take this responsibility lightly. Unfortunately it seems many do.

Unless we are talking about immaculate conception here, my biology textbook talked about it taking TWO people to get a women pregnant, and one of them, if I recall, was a man.

So who else is responsible? Come on now. Was your wife solely responsible for getting pregnant, or did you have something to do with it?

So, tying it back to the thread topic, without taking the time to look back through this whole thread to refresh my memory on your position, I have to assume you are OK with a woman having the sole authority on abortion then.

If the woman has all the responsibility, then the woman has all the decision-making authority. It is even up to the woman if she chooses not to notify the man.

Do you agree?

And if I said the above words, I would be called a man-hating dyke. I can't believe I, a lesbian, think more highly of men than you, a straight man, do.

And it will remain one unless people decide to SPEAK OUT against it, and ACT to change it. You don't seem bothered enough by it to work for (or even CALL for) any change on this issue. I see you validating the status quo.

I think that's a wonderful plan, and I hope it works out.

Now, many people take offense to being given parenting advice, but you gave me some from your heart, so now it's my turn. Please know I am saying this with only the best intentions, and I intend no offense: If there is one thing I have learned about guys, it's that guys do NOT get hints. Guys need stuff spelled out for them.

Set an example, of course, but if I may suggest, TALK about this issue with your son when the time is right. Be specific. Be clear. Tell him in no uncertain terms what your expectations are for him in this area.

Tell him the counterpart advice that you offered me for my daughter: if he has sex, he better be ready to be a father. And if he becomes one, he better BE there, and do right by his newly created family.

If you don't, if you keep simply validating the status quo, as you have been doing over our last few exchanges, I think it increases the chances of your son becoming a part of that status quo, despite your best example-setting.

Um, you are aware that the 50's are over, aren't you?

APPLAUSE APPLAUSE APPLAUSE!

Some aspects of the 50's made a lot of sense. Virtue, morality, self discipline. It may be fun to screw anybody and everybody, but there are consequences.

Whether they made sense or not, the 50's are over, and they aren't coming back. No matter how hard you try, you cannot unring a bell.

Instead of attempting to turn women into some 21st century version of June Cleaver, why don't you direct your energies to the REAL source of the problem? The so called 'man' who abandoned his responsibilities? Junes life wouldn't have been so picture perfect if Ward had taken off you know.