I try not to post too many sob stories, but I just want the advice.

Yesterday I went out to a movie with my gf and we realized that there was kind of an awkwardness about it. I think we're both kind of shy toward each other, and we decided to get to know each other a bit better and get more comfortable with each other. Until then, we broke it off. We're still good friends and are going to my senior prom, but still I'm kinda down.

Fucking terrific. For once I meet someone I like who probably likes me back and I screw it up for myself. This happens every damn time I'm in a relationship. Things are awkward because I'm shier than most and I seldom take many risks. I hate it, but I can't figure out how to change it. Help?!

Invite her to the forum, Anti!

You are so bright and articulate. She will get to know how you believe on so many issues if she reads you here.

As to being shy, don't worry about it. The right one will think that you are adorably shy.

OD

I know that being shy sucks. Perhaps you should keep talking to her even if it is hard for you to do. Take a few risks some time as it may work.

I felt that way the first few relationships I had Anti and yeah it does suck how you can screw it up with the person you think is right. But I basicly told myself to "knock the shit off and get out there!" and it worked, now im in the best relationship of my life. We both still have our shy moments and wont share things but we know thats who we are and we still love eachother.

Senior prom? How old does that make you? 18? 16?

If there is one thing I remember about being that age, it is how important EVERY relationship seemed to be, and how every girl seemed to be 'the one'.

You probably will think I am patronising you, but you are so young and so far away from full maturity that there is only a tiny chance that you have yet met the woman you willl spend your life with.

Have fun, don't take things too seriously, enjoy yourself, but above all be responsible and remember that every 'right' carries responsibilities so temper your actions.

Act respectfully and your resolve will, in time, be rewarded.

Pal, you are not alone in the boat. I am shy, too. I don't know what it is these days, when people who want to get married, don't, fearing that they would be a statistic in divorce rates.

I dated a couple of women in my lifetime, but nothing serious ever came out of that.

Best of luck to you.

I'll have so side with George on this.

I have taken out some girls while going to college, and none of them really turned into relationships..In December, I took a girl out a couple of times to the movies and it sounds like me and you share the same qualities of what happened during my date.

I don't know if it's Massachusetts, but girls are very confusing here... Here's something interesting; every one of my sisters friends have told me that they like some type of "competition" So from that claim, if you act shy around your date, there is clearly no competition. I guess they would be more attracted if you were "hard to get"

I've actually tried playing "hard to get" while seeming "less interested" in a girl that I was actually interested in, and it seems to have worked.

Well I'm 17 and she's almost 16.

I realize that in the end there's a remote chance that anything will come of that. The problem is that I temper my actions too much and I don't take risks, and that keeps me from having fun. It's not tha I want to, it's almost instinctual.

Still, thanks for all the advice. If it doesn't get me to be a bit more up front and assertive, then at least I'll be at ease knowing something will happen eventually.

I'm not old, I'm only 35, (Probably seems old to you!!) but I would give anything to be 17 again. I would give you this advice:
Learn to be confident and content with who you are. This makes you far more attractive than a shy nervous guy.

Study hard, a good education is never wasted.

Don't worry too much about girls, you'll get your fair share.

Start saving now!! It's easy to put money away when you're young and it will give you a head start when you need it.

Trust your gut instincts. They are probably right, and even if they are wrong, at least you have no-one to blame.


I really hope in 20 years time you'll think "Yep, that smug bastard was right."

I think the single best thing you can do for yourself and for this-and all possible future relationships you may have-is to tell her how you feel.

Surely, you might be opening up yourself to the potential for getting hurt.

But, if you wish to do you part in building any potential relationship, being honest about how you feel is the only way any future trust will develop.

And, you might be surprised just how she-and other women-will respond to your openness since it gives her something to believe.

Best of luck to you.