Looking For Love On The Sly

by Wayne Besen


Somehow, the idea of furtive bathroom sex seemed more in vogue when pop icon George Michael was arrested. Now, the guy in the stall next to you is likely a gay-obsessed mayor, an undercover cop or a crusty old conservative legislator. With such unappetizing menu choices, one has to be quite desperate and pathetic to try to find his man in the can - especially with the advent of the Internet, which can deliver a pick-up faster than a pizza.

So, the few remaining men who seek to cruise the commode are mostly married conservative hypocrites looking for love on the sly. Exhibit A is Larry Craig, a married Republican Senator from Idaho who pleaded guilty to soliciting a police officer for sex at the Minneapolis airport in June.

The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force pointed out that Craig supported both the Federal Marriage Amendment and Idaho's anti-same-sex marriage constitutional amendment. He is not supportive of nondiscrimination and hate crimes legislation that would extend protections to gay people and has even refused to pledge that his own office would not discriminate against LGBT people. (Was he afraid of temptation?)

The Senator's tortured attempts to explain away the obvious were as comical as they were tragic.

"At the time of this incident, I complained to the police that they were misconstruing my actions," Craig said. "I should have had the advice of counsel in resolving this matter. In hindsight, I should not have pled guilty. I was trying to handle this matter myself quickly and expeditiously."

How were they misconstruing it? We all know what it means if you shake it more than five times. The fact is, Craig was tapping his foot and reaching under the stall, and seemed to be quite adept at giving the arcane signals necessary for a fling between flights.

Yet, astoundingly, the Senator sounded a defiant note at his press conference implausibly denying his homosexuality. "I am not gay. I never have been gay," said Craig.

Airports can be quite boring and, perhaps, he was just a straight guy passing the time, rather than making a pass at a clandestine cop. But, this isn't the first time Craig has been tied to bathroom cruising. Activist extraordinaire Mike Rogers had previously revealed that Craig was a known cruiser at Washington's notorious Union Station restrooms. Yes, I also realize that there is little to do while waiting for trains. May I suggest the Senator travel by car -with a driver - next time?

How many of these incidents will it take before America realizes that the family values crowd is a big, fat fraud? They are a batch of moralizing molesters, pious pervs, closeted creeps and values voyeurs. It is time the right just closes shop and stops pointing fingers - because we have no idea where those sticky fingers have been.

In recent memory, we have been treated to Florida Republican Rep. Mark Foley's preoccupation with teenage pages; The National Association of Evangelical's leader Ted Haggard's working relationship with escort Mike Jones; Florida Republican legislator Bob Allen getting arrested in a park restroom for soliciting oral sex from a police officer; The arrest of Southern Baptist Convention leader Lonnie Latham in Oklahoma City on a lewdness complaint for allegedly propositioning a plainclothes policeman; and Indiana Young Republican National Federation leader Glenn Murphy resigning after police charged him with sexually assaulting a Young Republican friend, while his comrade was napping in a drunken stupor.

Forgive me if I missed a tawdry scandal, but I would need a Republican database of disgrace to keep track. Or, I could always call Fort Lauderdale Mayor Jim Naugle for the "facts." The mayor is so gay-sex obsessed that he recently tried to raid the city's treasury to buy robo-johns to prevent gay men from getting it on. But, it turned out the mayor may actually have issues, when the police said gay bathroom sex was a non-issue.

If people, such as Naugle, have problems with restroom sex, they only have themselves to blame. Fundamentalism is the primary cause, not the solution to such behavior. People such as the moralizing mayor have made every effort to publicly shame gay people - inevitably driving some individuals to join conservative political movements and engage in shameful actions.

Interestingly, Fort Lauderdale televangelist D. James Kennedy, who Naugle praises as a great man, retired the same week that Sen. Craig's secret was revealed. Kennedy's church, Coral Ridge Ministries, was the lead sponsor of the 1998 million-dollar ex-gay "Truth In Love Campaign," that caused a national uproar. While the religious right heaps effusive praise on Kennedy, the Craig incident reminds us that Kennedy-type anti-gay crusades have probably lead more closeted married men to bathroom glory holes than to the glory of God.

http://365gay.com/opinion/besen/besen.htm

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It's not like it's rare. Men meeting for sex in bathrooms seems to be pretty much a regular occurrence. Justifying the Red Cross ban on such activities for donors.

exactly what your post had to do with the topic presented I have no idea.

but, as the author said, "So, the few remaining men who seek to cruise the commode are mostly married conservative hypocrites looking for love on the sly."
Those straight married guys just can't get out of the bathroom without first soliciting sex.

As has been done with my posts, I'm gonna refer to the source of your link. Of course they would try to imply that the only people cruising mens restrooms are "married conservative hypocrites looking for love on the sly."
Yet the web is full of stories of plenty of people who get caught having sex in bathrooms. Not to mention plenty of anecdotes of gay men chronicling their exploits and which bathrooms to go to. So what did my post have to do with your post? It shows that "bathroom sex" not only isn't rare, but is probably happening at a park or rest stop near you.

And yet here again is another attack on "the family values crowd" based on the actions of this guy. I don't let "you" color my view on "regular" gay guys. Family values is an important topic for many people. And if anything, sex in bathrooms cements that we ought to monitor areas like this for such activity. People trolling around these areas looking for free sexual gratification is simply disgusting. Especially at an airport restroom where children might see something. If gay men were worried soo much about marriage to create a more stable "family" and were put here to take care of the "heterosexual overflow" as had ben mentioned here, this is a poor indication of it.
washingtonpost.com - nation, world, technology and Washington area news and headlines

CTV.ca | Foot-tapping ritual common in bathroom sex sting
"A foot-tapping ritual was a common thread in many of the 41 arrests reported during a four-month airport"

If they caught 41 men in that restroom at that airport, what is going on in other airports, bus stations, parks, and rest areas. I don't care whether the men are gay or not, but I'm really starting to understand why male "homosexual acts" is despised much more fervently biblically and by the general public. Men already can be dogs, but you put two of them with a like mind together, and it's just a nasty situation. And they don't mind doing in public areas...just like dogs

Craig on Clinton's scandal:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=<obje...mbed></object>

As has also been done with your posts, I have to make some kind of choice. Did you not understand the article? Or are you attempting to be dishonestly misrepresent it?

There is no "they." This is not a news article. This is an EDITORIAL. This is a (very well done) piece by ONE MAN.

You seem to think that an editorial op/ed piece is the same thing as a news story. Either that - or you do know and simply dishonestly represent it in your posts in order to further fan the flames of bigotry.

(And, for what it's worth, I think the majority of people cruisiing mens restrooms ARE closeted hypocrites looking for love on the sly. Your average gay man does not have to resort to such unsavory - and illegal - practices to find sexual partners. The reason a person would engage in such behaviour is that he's afraid to be "found out" as gay...which would happen in a gay bar or at a gay social event. Are any of these men just gay? Of course. Where ever there are large numbers of men, there will be gay men among them.)

Heterosexuals never NEVER solicit anyone for sex... right?

Soliciting yes, getting it for free just by going into the public bathroom and patting feet and coughing, no. Even a nasty crack ho wants a couple bucks for her time.

"I would probably go hump a balloon before I run in a bathroom for some anonymous guy to apply suction to my penis, but hey, to each his/her own."

And I agree. However your other posts belie the attitude you now present. You do NOT believe 'to each his/her own.' You denigrate, demean and dehumanize people who do not share your sexual proclivities.