garysher

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mytmouse57

What does a blonde say after making love?

"So, are you guys all on the same team?"

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If at first you don’t succeed – try, try again and then quit. There’s no sense in making a damned fool of yourself. – W.C. Fields

garysher

English humour (please feel free to adapt to local conditions)

What do you call a Liverpudlian guy in a suit?

The defendant.




What do you call a Liverpudlian girl in a white track suit?

The bride.

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garysher

There was a blonde woman who was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note.

"I have kidnapped your child. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park tomorrow at 7 A.M. Signed, The Blonde". She pinned the note inside the little boy's jacket and told him to go straight home.

The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in a brown bag, behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed. Inside the bag was the following note... "Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another!"

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garysher

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 Billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300C.

The Russians used a pencil.

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Hio

HA!

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What Profit Is It To A Man...If He Gains The World But Loses His Own Soul {Matthew 16:26}

mytmouse57

What's the most confusing day in Liverpool?

Father's Day.

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If at first you don’t succeed – try, try again and then quit. There’s no sense in making a damned fool of yourself. – W.C. Fields

mytmouse57

What's a Hillbilly's idea of foreplay?

"Pssssst! Sis, wake up!"

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If at first you don’t succeed – try, try again and then quit. There’s no sense in making a damned fool of yourself. – W.C. Fields

mytmouse57

How do we say "I love you" in Wyoming?

"Bitch, get in the truck."

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If at first you don’t succeed – try, try again and then quit. There’s no sense in making a damned fool of yourself. – W.C. Fields

OhDear

I use to laugh at blonde jokes, but those that got this thread started are truly disgusting. I would say offensive, except I am not so easily swayed by immature outbursts as that.

OhDear

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