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| Block Captain ![]() Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: USA Gender: ![]() Posts: 371
| P, E, & W After debating the abortion topic so intensely for the past week, here is a little comic relief about related issues that was going around in mid-April: Pregnancy, Estrogen and Women Q&A Q: Should I have a baby after 35? A: No, 35 children is enough. Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move? A: With any luck, right after he finishes college. Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex? A: Childbirth. Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational. A: So what's your question? Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right? A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current. Q: When is the best time to get an epidural? A! : Right after you find out you're pregnant. Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor? A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you. Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth? A: Yes, pregnancy. Q: Do I have to have a baby shower? A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly. Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again? A: When the kids are in college. "ESTROGEN ISSUES" 10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "ESTROGEN ISSUES" 1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem. 2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet. 3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans. 4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say. 5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: "How's my driving-call 1- 800-". 6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice. 7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from "outer space". 8 You can't believe they don't make a tampon bigger than Super Plus. 9 You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy. 10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.. TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND 10. Cats' facial expressions. 9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors. 8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds. 7. Fat clothes. 6 Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time. 5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell. 4. Cutting your hair to make it grow. 3. Eyelash curlers. 2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made. AND, the Number One thing only women understand: 1. OTHER WOMEN | |||||||||||||||||||||
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| Super Moderator Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Seattle (grew up around D.C.) Gender: ![]() Posts: 8,017 Country: ![]()
| :-d :-d --- help me Instant Runoff Voting, you're my only hope --- There is little doubt that the world in general is more liberal than it was 50 years ago and beyond. Conservatives are simply roadblocks on the path to an ever more progressive and liberal world. What a sad existence. | |||||||||||||||||||||
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| Senator ![]() Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: California Dreamin Posts: 3,643
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| Community Leader ![]() Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 748
| I found out awhile back how to tell a woman on PMS from a pit bull... The woman wears lipstick! | |||||||||||||||||||||
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| Block Captain ![]() Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: USA Gender: ![]() Posts: 371
| You guys Quote:
Yes, my friends, the moon has been bright in the last few days... well gotta be going now | ||||||||||||||||||||||
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| Senator ![]() Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: California Dreamin Posts: 3,643
| Quote:
![]() Leave me alone I'm busy! LOL Last edited by intangible child; 05-23-2006 at 12:23 AM. | ||||||||||||||||||||||
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| Beer Man Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: stuck in the middle Posts: 3,432 Country: ![]() Thanks: 103
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"We could not now take time for further search or consideration, our victuals being much spent, especially our beer." - William Bradford Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right..... Now offering premium membership for only $25.00!! Click here to get started.! | ||
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| Head of Security Join Date: May 2005 Location: The Cradle of Liberty Gender: ![]() Posts: 10,486 Country: ![]()
| This is how I imaine Ridin' spends most of his time... Quote:
Fight the good fight, and die with the enemy's heart in your hand. http://www.armysailor.com http://www.tadpolenet.com/techblog ------------------------------------ Check out my latest addition to the blogosphere Quixotic Journey | ||||||||||||||||||||||
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