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07-08-2007, 07:32 PM
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| Head of Security   Join Date: May 2005 Location: The Cradle of Liberty Gender:  Posts: 10,352 Country: 
   |  Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer... I have 2 dogs & I was buying a large bag of Pal at Big W and standing inline at the check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Pal Diet again although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Pal nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her. Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me. I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door. Stupid bitch...why else would I buy dog food?? Fight the good fight, and die with the enemy's heart in your hand. http://www.armysailor.com http://www.tadpolenet.com/techblog ------------------------------------ Check out my latest addition to the blogosphere Quixotic Journey  | |||||||||||||||||||||
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07-26-2007, 02:51 PM
| #2 (permalink) | |
| Beer Man   Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: stuck in the middle Posts: 3,410 Country:  Thanks: 99
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 | That's FUNNY!!! "We could not now take time for further search or consideration, our victuals being much spent, especially our beer." - William Bradford Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right..... Now offering premium membership for only $25.00!! Click here to get started.! | |
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07-26-2007, 03:49 PM
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| Partisan   Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: New Haven, CT Gender: Posts: 7,995 Country:
| you're such a smart ass I love it LOL *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Conservatism: Self-centered mean-spiritedness fueled by ignorance and misguided self-importance. Bigotry is a social disease. Legalized same-sex marriage almost certainly benefits those same-sex couples who choose to marry, as well as the children being raised in those homes. - David Blankenhorn is president of the New York-based Institute for American Values and the author of "The Future of Marriage." | |||||||||||||||||||||
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07-26-2007, 04:21 PM
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| Block Captain   Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 232 Country: 
| Quote:
 I suppose you could have been buying the dog food for a disabled friend or something? I bet that woman will think twice before chatting to someone in the supermarket queue next time. They who walk in silence hang the innocent and set the guilty free. | ||||||||||||||||||||||
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07-26-2007, 04:41 PM
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| Moderator  Join Date: Apr 2007 Gender: Posts: 1,819 Country:
| OMG you need to email that story to Bill Engval for him to use in one of his "Here's your sign" bits....OMG THAT WOULD BE HILLARIOUS What Profit Is It To A Man...If He Gains The World But Loses His Own Soul {Matthew 16:26} | |||||||||||||||||||||
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