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Love and Marriage

Lifestyle and Love Discuss health & fitness, dating, relationships, sex, and other kinds of topics related to lifestyle.

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Old 09-13-2007, 02:29 PM   #91 (permalink)
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I read a pretty good article about marriage today:

8 Things No One Tells You About Marriage - Page1 -Â* MSN Lifestyle - Relationships
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Old 09-13-2007, 03:57 PM   #92 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by knot_e_lady View Post
Excellent article Knot.


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Old 09-13-2007, 04:02 PM   #93 (permalink)
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That was a good article. Thanks for sharing.
If at first you don’t succeed – try, try again and then quit. There’s no sense in making a damned fool of yourself. – W.C. Fields

Old 09-13-2007, 04:23 PM   #94 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nuttyjoe View Post
Yes, unfortunately divorce tends to cost significantly. I was lucky because I was already financially well off. My ex got a nice "severance package". As I am partially paralyzed; ours was a one-time payday for her as awarded by the court. It actually could have been more; but no spousal support was also involved. The child support can be adjusted yearly according to income, so my earnings from investment income is paid to a trust.
I know of a man living near me whom dorce was devastating. I think in a lot of cases courts do not understand that many fathers do not choose to not support their children, but when they are hit for twenty percent (gross) of their pay; it now reduces that man to not being able to afford a mortgage, car payment, insurance payments, and other necessities. A lot of the "deadbeat dad" cases arise from the woman immediately moving in a boyfriend that the father is in effect now supporting. This is a slap in the face to men; whom refuse to subject themselves to this.It's like another man telling you that " you are going to pay me to satisfy the woman you couldn't."


Oh, Jaysus, Joe.. don't even get me started on how the State of Idaho (the state in which I was divorced) treats non-custodial parents. Yes, I've heard of both non-custodial mothers and fathers getting taken to the cleaners.

There NEEDS to be some reform on child support laws. I'm all for nailing jerks who deliberatley don't pay it. But there has to be some regard for the non-custodial parent (which is usually a father) just being able to freakin' live and keep a roof over his own head... and have a decent place when his kids come to visit.

When I lost the good job I'd had at the time of my divorce, and my income become less than a third of what it had been, the burden was all on me to wade through a mile-high stack of paperwork and hearings to get my support payments adjusted. Meanwhile, of course, I got behind, and the state was threatening to pull my driver's license and all sorts of other nasty crap. Yeah.. like, think about that one. No driver's license means it would make it very difficult for me to find/keep a job.. you freakin' retards.

The "best" one I'm aware of happened to a friend of mine, who was working on becoming a master electricitan. Anyway, when he got behind, the state tried to pull his electrictian's license.

HELLO.. anybody home upstairs? The dude owes you money, so it's NOT the smartest thing to take away his BEST POSSIBLE SOURCE OF INCOME!!!!???

Anway.. sorry for the rant. But again, there simply has to be reform on this crap. The burden should be on the state to look at your income, weigh it against a reasonable cost of living in your area -- not luxury, just basic living expenses -- and take not more than one penny of what you can afford.

It should be a flat percentage. If your job changes and you make less, it should go down accordingly. If you get a new job/promotion, and are making more... it should go up accordingly.

Just my opinons on the matter.
If at first you don’t succeed – try, try again and then quit. There’s no sense in making a damned fool of yourself. – W.C. Fields

Old 09-13-2007, 04:27 PM   #95 (permalink)
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I agree - fathers should support their children.

On the other hand, I've known men whose wives worked when they were married and they lived on combined incomes - but when they DIVORCED, the women STOPPED working, and the total burden of two households and support of the children was layed right at the husbands' feet. The guys were struggling (for YEARS), while the women were laying around the house and getting their nails done.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Conservatism: Self-centered mean-spiritedness fueled by ignorance and misguided self-importance.

Bigotry is a social disease.

Legalized same-sex marriage almost certainly benefits those same-sex couples who choose to marry, as well as the children being raised in those homes. - David Blankenhorn is president of the New York-based Institute for American Values and the author of "The Future of Marriage."
Old 09-13-2007, 04:29 PM   #96 (permalink)
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On the other hand, you know women who had to work two jobs to support her kids because her deadbeat ex decided he didn't feel like going without his expensive toys and actually help her pay for their children.
Old 09-13-2007, 04:31 PM   #97 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by knot_e_lady View Post
On the other hand, you know women who had to work two jobs to support her kids because her deadbeat ex decided he didn't feel like going without his expensive toys and actually help her pay for their children.

Those are the assholes who make it so miserable for the rest of us, Knot.

Because of jerks like that, child support laws are so Draconian.. they really don't give a shit if you're living in a shack. The state just wants their money.
If at first you don’t succeed – try, try again and then quit. There’s no sense in making a damned fool of yourself. – W.C. Fields

Old 09-13-2007, 04:33 PM   #98 (permalink)
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Those are the assholes who make it so miserable for the rest of us, Knot.

Because of jerks like that, child support laws are so Draconian.. they really don't give a shit if you're living in a shack. The state just wants their money.
The state? Hell, I can't get the friggin state of California to do a damn thing about my case!!! Everytime I call the Los Angeles County DA office, they've closed my case because they can't find him. They haven't even looked!!!! They do a computer search for his SS number, and that's it.

The loser owes me over $100,000.00, not including interest!!!
Old 09-13-2007, 04:37 PM   #99 (permalink)
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Back more on the O.T. -- it's ironic that my marriage failed because there wasn't ENOUGH of the gooey, stupid-head lovey-dovey element to it.

From the moment I met my ex-wife, I always LIKED her. We became good friends. We still are. It's like our friendship got interupted by our marriage... but once we got divorced, we were able to be friends again. Over the years, I've developed a deep and abiding love for her as a friend and co-parent.

But one of the big reasons our marriage failed was a total lack of passionate love.
If at first you don’t succeed – try, try again and then quit. There’s no sense in making a damned fool of yourself. – W.C. Fields

Old 09-13-2007, 04:39 PM   #100 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mytmouse57 View Post
Back more on the O.T. -- it's ironic that my marriage failed because there wasn't ENOUGH of the gooey, stupid-head lovey-dovey element to it.

From the moment I met my ex-wife, I always LIKED her. We became good friends. We still are. It's like our friendship got interupted by our marriage... but once we got divorced, we were able to be friends again. Over the years, I've developed a deep and abiding love for her as a friend and co-parent.

But one of the big reasons our marriage failed was a total lack of passionate love.

Not everybody expresses love that way, and certainly not all the time.

Maybe you and/or she are just not built that way?
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