Originally Posted by Mr. Jaggers

You will find that your "love" for her was really a friendship; which, in the final analysis, is much more than love.

Originally Posted by Mr. Jaggers

Yes, there is pain with love - the question is whether it is worth it(?).

Originally Posted by akuma

For me, it was hard losing my first love. The pain was sharp and the wound never completely healed. However, life continues and the memories of the happiness ease the ones of pain. I say it is worth it.

Originally Posted by Mr. Jaggers

Have you read the novels of Vita Sackville West?

Originally Posted by Mr. Jaggers

Dear Sappho:

Unhappily, many of the things that I read now have been out of print for several centuries, and are only available in the great libraries of the world or in private collections. I have cited the referenced authorities (Dr Goldsmith is 18th Century); and I don't think you will find his essays on the internet. You will just have to do your own research.

Originally Posted by KnightOfSappho

Dr. Goldsmith forgot to consider one critical point...

Writers cannot create that which is not already a part of them. Love is powerful, passionate (cooler sometimes, but that goes in cycles) and beautiful.

True, that there are those that expect love to fix everything in life, but the mature person comes to love with a complete self. Love then creates a higher plane. Too many seek to complete SELF with love, which is pretty much doomed to failure. (You cannot expect another person to fix/complete you.)

It is MORE than friendship. Admittedly, I come from a SSM mentality, but I must guess that it is the same for mt heterosexual counterparts.

Originally Posted by Mr. Jaggers

Most people get married for love, which is a mistake because love never lasts and is all to soon replaced with the drudgery of domestic life. Marital bliss becomes sacrificed to material obligation - mortgages, car payments and an endless series of bills - that takes all the joy out the relationship. Even the children end up being more burden than blessing. It all boils down to responsibility - financial responsibility - which is to say money, or the lack thereof - the debits and credits of a bankrupt estate.

For the same reason, many marriages nowadays end in divorce. It is primarily because they are ill-fated from the start; like undercapitalized business ventures, they are bound to fail. How foolish people can be when they are in love. How stupidly they behave without a care for the consequences. Did they really think that they could live on love? How absurd. Where did their love go? How could two persons who loved one another so passionately end up hating each other? Is love and hate but two sides of the same emotion? And what is to be done with the detritus of a marriage foundered on the rocks? The law is an inadequate remedy for what amounts to people’s personal problems. Divorce is a losing proposition: the husband loses, the wife loses, and the children - the ones who ought to be entitled to two loving and responsible parents - they are the big losers. But how can you stop people from getting married, however improbable the proposal? You might as well try to stop the tide from coming in; it is an irresistible force. People ought to be required to prove their financial responsibility before the state issues them a license to marry; for surely, as the old saying goes: "When the money’s gone, love flies out the window."

Originally Posted by teethandclaws

I totally have to disagree with you.
There is a difference between love and in love. When you're first in love it's like infatuation, it's fleeting and when you're there, you think you can change all the things about your mate that annoy you. Real love, true love, is beyond that, you accept the flaws you perceive in your mate, even embrace them, because that love is real. That is what is missing in marriages that end in divorce. Money isn't what my marriage or family life is based on. It just pays the bills.