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Love and Marriage

Lifestyle and Love Discuss health & fitness, dating, relationships, sex, and other kinds of topics related to lifestyle.

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Old 09-11-2007, 02:33 PM   #41 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by mytmouse57 View Post
Again, you're confusing the hormonally-charged state of being "in love" with actually loving (respecting) another person.


I think perhaps I misunderstood some of your earlier posts.

I think that one does not have to respect another person to love him/her.

If you are talking about a marital relationship then I think respect is a necessary componant but so is romantic love. I believe that as a relationship continues, both the love and respect must grow for the relationship to be truly successful.

But I think that other types of love can certainly exist absent of respect.

For instance, I have a nephew whom I love like a son or a brother. But his profession of choice is con artist. He is into pyramid schemes, home sales scams and anything else where he can get paid for charm over substance.

It should not surprise you that I cannot profess even one iota of respect for him. Well, maybe a little. He is a devoted father to his two girls; I have to respect that. But, overall, I think he is a punk. Yet I still love him.

I could come up with other examples from my own life but I am sure we all have people like that, whom we love but whom we cannot respect.
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Old 09-11-2007, 02:37 PM   #42 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by baloney_detector View Post
There is substantial evidence that suggests that all forms of relationship-type love are really based on chemicals reacting in our brains.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

So we can make homosexuals straight by altering the chemistry?






So, in a way, relationship-type love is...well...a drug.
I think I have that track on a "Greatest Hits of the 1980's" CD.
Old 09-11-2007, 02:38 PM   #43 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by CrazyFlamingos View Post

I have a nephew whom I love like a son or a brother. But his profession of choice is con artist. He is into pyramid schemes, home sales scams and anything else where he can get paid for charm over substance.

Why are we not surprised!
Old 09-11-2007, 03:16 PM   #44 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by garysher View Post
So we can make homosexuals straight by altering the chemistry?
Well, if that were true, then I think we could likely make heterosexuals gay by "altering the chemistry" too.

But I think sexuality and relationship-type love is a bit more complex, taken as a whole.
Old 09-11-2007, 03:48 PM   #45 (permalink)
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Please, let's not turn this into another argument over homosexuality.

That's just so gay.
If at first you don’t succeed – try, try again and then quit. There’s no sense in making a damned fool of yourself. – W.C. Fields

Old 09-11-2007, 03:51 PM   #46 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CrazyFlamingos View Post


I think perhaps I misunderstood some of your earlier posts.

I think that one does not have to respect another person to love him/her.

If you are talking about a marital relationship then I think respect is a necessary componant but so is romantic love. I believe that as a relationship continues, both the love and respect must grow for the relationship to be truly successful.

But I think that other types of love can certainly exist absent of respect.

For instance, I have a nephew whom I love like a son or a brother. But his profession of choice is con artist. He is into pyramid schemes, home sales scams and anything else where he can get paid for charm over substance.

It should not surprise you that I cannot profess even one iota of respect for him. Well, maybe a little. He is a devoted father to his two girls; I have to respect that. But, overall, I think he is a punk. Yet I still love him.

I could come up with other examples from my own life but I am sure we all have people like that, whom we love but whom we cannot respect.

Yes, I agree. And I think you can be "in love", but ultimately not respect the other. In fact, that's pretty much what happened to me.

I think my whole point is, real, abiding love -- which is actually grounded in respect -- is what is most important to a marriage. Being "in love" is just a pleasant bonus.

If you try to base the whole thing ONLY on being "in love" it's probably doomed to failure.
If at first you don’t succeed – try, try again and then quit. There’s no sense in making a damned fool of yourself. – W.C. Fields

Old 09-11-2007, 04:21 PM   #47 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mytmouse57 View Post
Please, let's not turn this into another argument over homosexuality.

That's just so gay.
Do you see a pattern here?
Old 09-11-2007, 04:53 PM   #48 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by knot_e_lady View Post
Do you see a pattern here?
Perhaps.

But I for one, am getting burned out on the subject of homosexuality.

I like this subject of romance and love and marriage. Esp. as a single person who is "on the market" such as it is...lol... I find it valuable to explore the pitfalls and past mistakes... maybe learn a thing or two I can apply in real life.

That's why I'm really hoping this thread can stay on topic. Purely selfish reasons....
If at first you don’t succeed – try, try again and then quit. There’s no sense in making a damned fool of yourself. – W.C. Fields

Old 09-11-2007, 04:57 PM   #49 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mytmouse57 View Post

That's why I'm really hoping this thread can stay on topic. Purely selfish reasons....

The vital ingredients of a successful marriage:

1. Mutual reliance on each other, even though neither of you really need to.

2. Preparedness to sacrifice and compromise.

3. Desire to make the other person happy.

4. Be friends with your partner.

® garysher
Old 09-11-2007, 05:01 PM   #50 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mytmouse57 View Post
I like this subject of romance and love and marriage. Esp. as a single person who is "on the market" such as it is...lol... I find it valuable to explore the pitfalls and past mistakes... maybe learn a thing or two I can apply in real life.
All you gotta know is to keep both eyes open before marriage and one eye closed after marriage.

That's all you really need to know.



(The rest you'll have to figure out within a relationship along the way since all relationships are different.)
Last edited by baloney_detector; 09-11-2007 at 05:03 PM.
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