Most people get married for love, which is a mistake because love never lasts and is all to soon replaced with the drudgery of domestic life. Marital bliss becomes sacrificed to material obligation - mortgages, car payments and an endless series of bills - that takes all the joy out the relationship. Even the children end up being more burden than blessing. It all boils down to responsibility - financial responsibility - which is to say money, or the lack thereof - the debits and credits of a bankrupt estate.

For the same reason, many marriages nowadays end in divorce. It is primarily because they are ill-fated from the start; like undercapitalized business ventures, they are bound to fail. How foolish people can be when they are in love. How stupidly they behave without a care for the consequences. Did they really think that they could live on love? How absurd. Where did their love go? How could two persons who loved one another so passionately end up hating each other? Is love and hate but two sides of the same emotion? And what is to be done with the detritus of a marriage foundered on the rocks? The law is an inadequate remedy for what amounts to people’s personal problems. Divorce is a losing proposition: the husband loses, the wife loses, and the children - the ones who ought to be entitled to two loving and responsible parents - they are the big losers. But how can you stop people from getting married, however improbable the proposal? You might as well try to stop the tide from coming in; it is an irresistible force. People ought to be required to prove their financial responsibility before the state issues them a license to marry; for surely, as the old saying goes: "When the money’s gone, love flies out the window."

My mother often repeated that shibboleth as well. "When the money's gone, love flies out of the window." She kept a tight grip on the purse strings. She also used to say, If you can't afford to fix the roof, the rain will come in and dampen the flames of passion". Or something like that. she was one crazy old bat. lol

“Marlin: It's because I like you, I don't want to be with you. It's a complicated emotion.” - Finding Nemo

Them's fightin' words, Mr. Jaggers!!!

But I will agree that LOVE is not a reason to marry. There must be a fusing of two visions for life to make a new life. And marriage is all about making a new life of the two. Some truly love but not to the measure it takes to do that.

I am posting my thoughts about love here and maybe they will read like blarney to the cynics and the embittered. Hoping that is not what you are Mr. Jaggers.

But also please cut me a little slack for now cos the one true love of my life still lies heavily sedated on a ventilator in critical condition.


This blog I had posted months ago originally. And I am thinking some more about love. Love is like a miracle. It makes all things ordinary sparkle with something extra. And when you find that sparkle in the eyes of another, you feel loved.

When I was much, much younger, there was a well-known cartoon called Love is...by Kim.


I had a number of Love is...items.


Glassware, a little book of Love is Maxims, a Love is...button pinned on my denim hobo bag. Just the stuff of who I was. Really who I still am, I guess.


Well today I decided to post some of my own Love is...'s.



Love is . . .the strongest thing in the world. But it is the Creator of weakness. I believe it creates need in those who own it.




Love is ...a committed desire to another's happiness.


Love is...without guile or agenda.




Love is...synergy, a sharing of energies, revealed and treasured. The joining of two hearts that gives each one inspiration, affirmation, and vision.


Love is...a place. When two people fall in love, they end up in this place. You can love another and direct that heartheld gift of thought and concern to that one. That is love that knows its transfer from heart to heart. But when you fall in love, you find yourself in a new place. If you fall alone, your heart might break on impact. But if you fall with someone, you explore this place and stake a claim.




Love is...a substance that replenishes itself by just a thought, or a look, or a word. And when so much love is made, people make love.


Love is...breathing. Shared heartbeat, falling into the rhythm of another. To be silent and listen to and feel the moment of oneness that will travel the universe forever.





Love is...what makes the world go round. It is not meant to stop your world. It is designed to bring a song to your heart as you keep on being, doing, and becoming all you really are.


Love is...God. Because God is love.




OhDear

MJ,

Yup. Friendship IS love. And love bears the essential trust and faithfulness you seem to speak of as something apart from love.

OhDear

Is it better to experience love and its loss or go through life without such feelings?

Blarney!

ohdear

I agree. The reason love hurts so bad when you lose it is because it feels so good when it's there. I'd much rather know the feeling than go through life without it.

You can rarely have the joy of love without the pain that comes with it.