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Old 04-11-2008, 08:01 PM   #151 (permalink)
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And my hat is off to you, highway80west. You are an exceptional brother and individual for helping you sister that way.
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Old 04-12-2008, 12:31 AM   #152 (permalink)
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Gary, I am independent and don't expect other people to do for me, and don't really trust people enough to depend on others for much. As far as my husband goes, he doesn't drink much, and doesn't like hanging out after work with the same guys he was with all day, and would rather come home and eat dinner and spend time with the kids. He is as pussy whipped as any other husband is out there. And what don't you understand about men not bearing the lion's share any where near the amount that they used to. Today we all bear the lion's share just to survive and put food on the table. And as far as being married to a deadbeat goes, not even close. So he isn't as good at yard work or chores as some might be, but he makes up for that in other areas.
At the risk of re-igniting our earlier disagreement, WT; I have to ask you: So what is it that you are complaining about your husband? Isn't marraige a series of compromises between husband and wife? For example; men cannot breast-feed their children. So they do other things. Most make up for this in work that helps put a roof over the family's head, food on the table, and clothes on backs. If there is disagreement (all couples have them); as to who is doing more than who, then it is our communication skills that seem to be problematic. I never believed in assigning work between man and wife when I was married, and I don't believe in it now. I'm more of the mind to just get whatever needed to be done- done. Take that back; my wife (at the time) did have that one job that was hers alone- and that was breast-feeding the baby (my son).
In the abstract, there are men who seem to think that they will never do things like change a diaper. I am ashamed to actually know a few in this category. They would leave their babies in a wet (or other!) diaper until their wives would change the baby. I thought this to be the hieght of disgusting- until I found out that this was just fine with some of those wives.
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Old 04-12-2008, 07:33 AM   #153 (permalink)
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Nope, he changed diapers and did everything with the kids just like I did. He just doesn't really care about housework or yardwork, which can be very frustrating. So, most of that is what I do. I wish he cared more about it, and I used to get much more upset about it then I do now. But my point was that I also work, I pay the bills and handle the budgeting, I handle all the stuff with the kids and his job is mostly just going to and from work. As I said, I am happy with our lives, but marriage that is lasting takes effort and work sometimes, and sacrifice. What he lacks in cleaning skills he does make up for in other ways that many men don't.
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Old 04-12-2008, 08:24 AM   #154 (permalink)
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My take on all this...
I do the laundry, cut the grass, day to day dishes, balance the checkbook, and do the shopping. It's no big deal. My wife does a once a week more thorough cleaning of the house though.
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Old 04-12-2008, 04:44 PM   #155 (permalink)
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My take on all this...
I do the laundry, cut the grass, day to day dishes, balance the checkbook, and do the shopping. It's no big deal. My wife does a once a week more thorough cleaning of the house though.
Both of the previous posts just underline the need to compromise and share in the trials and tribulations; as well as household chores and everyday items that a marraige entails. I'm not a marraige counselor; but I have noticed that those couples whom embrace this have marraiges that last longer. Hats off to both of you!
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