Spitzer's $4,000 call-girl revealed - Page 15

waitingtables · 04-10-2008, 04:00 PM

And the heavy lifting metaphor could be applied to running a home with all that entails. The glue that holds the family together and sends people out into the world, is an extremely important job that is not given enough respect. And has no sick or personal days, no vacations and is 24/7, 365.

nuttyjoe · 04-10-2008, 04:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by waitingtables

How many Carly's are there? Most women aren't earning that much, and couldn't afford a housekeeper. I'm not making excuses at all. Does your wife work? Who does the most housework between you two? And who does the cooking? I work, and I still do all that because I work part time, but my husband doesn't feel the need to contribute to the chores part time, like I contibute to the finances. Unfair. But not unfair enough for me to disrupt my children's lives over. I am not that selfish, I wish my husband wasn't either.

That sounds like you wish for a different husband; WT. And if so, that's your business. But you can change that also. That's nobody's issue but your own. It sounds like you're offering the excuse of your children for not having already left your husband.

garysher · 04-10-2008, 04:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by waitingtables

How many Carly's are there? Most women aren't earning that much, and couldn't afford a housekeeper. I'm not making excuses at all. Does your wife work? Who does the most housework between you two? And who does the cooking? I work, and I still do all that because I work part time, but my husband doesn't feel the need to contribute to the chores part time, like I contibute to the finances. Unfair. But not unfair enough for me to disrupt my children's lives over. I am not that selfish, I wish my husband wasn't either.

Does your husband fix the car cut the grass and do all kinds of chores that you don't do? Without ever whining about it?

garysher · 04-10-2008, 04:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by waitingtables

And the heavy lifting metaphor could be applied to running a home with all that entails. The glue that holds the family together and sends people out into the world, is an extremely important job that is not given enough respect. And has no sick or personal days, no vacations and is 24/7, 365.

I agree. But men share that responsibility too.

waitingtables · 04-11-2008, 07:20 AM

You have stated that men do most of the heavy lifting, meaning that men's work is more important. My statement is relating to the fact that what is considered women's work, is also the important work. And men contribute to that in a lesser fashion in most cases. If they are out being the bread winner, they don't have as much time to contribute to that kind of work. It sounds now like you are trying to have your cake and eat it too.

And my example is not given to illicit advice about my relationship, nutty. Even when my husband does pitch in around the house, it usually is not to my standards anyway. I would not divorce him over having to do most of the household work, and that includes the finances and bill paying, I'm making a point about what I see men doing. And as I said, even when women work full time, they still have to do most everything else. And my kids are not excuses to stay, they are the important work of which I spoke.

And no Gary, my husband doesn't fix the car, and my older daughter is usually the one mowing the lawn, or I do it. So don't assume that I don't work outside as well. I like it to look fairly decent, so I have to do it sometimes.

And nutty, I have a great man in my life and I don't wish for any other one. It is very hard to find a man today, who works steadily, is faithful, and isn't out at the bar with his buddies after work. And let me tell you, from what I know of the husbands of friends and aquaintences, most husbands aren't contributing in a meaningful way to the houshold chores, it isn't just mine.

nuttyjoe · 04-11-2008, 08:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by waitingtables

You have stated that men do most of the heavy lifting, meaning that men's work is more important. My statement is relating to the fact that what is considered women's work, is also the important work. And men contribute to that in a lesser fashion in most cases. If they are out being the bread winner, they don't have as much time to contribute to that kind of work. It sounds now like you are trying to have your cake and eat it too.

And my example is not given to illicit advice about my relationship, nutty. Even when my husband does pitch in around the house, it usually is not to my standards anyway. I would not divorce him over having to do most of the household work, and that includes the finances and bill paying, I'm making a point about what I see men doing. And as I said, even when women work full time, they still have to do most everything else. And my kids are not excuses to stay, they are the important work of which I spoke.

And no Gary, my husband doesn't fix the car, and my older daughter is usually the one mowing the lawn, or I do it. So don't assume that I don't work outside as well. I like it to look fairly decent, so I have to do it sometimes.

And nutty, I have a great man in my life and I don't wish for any other one. It is very hard to find a man today, who works steadily, is faithful, and isn't out at the bar with his buddies after work. And let me tell you, from what I know of the husbands of friends and aquaintences, most husbands aren't contributing in a meaningful way to the houshold chores, it isn't just mine.

Your description of your marraige is great; I'm sorry that you took it as a personal attack. What my post was trying to point out is another thing I've been saying: You (or anyone else) can change your situation in life. Whether financially or whatever else; there is nothing- nothing-that you could not change if you wanted to.
I'm not going to go into a litany about your personal situation. We've gotten too far off the original thread as it is; and your own situation is your own business-period.

waitingtables · 04-11-2008, 09:44 AM

Things have changed over a long period of time. I wasn't speaking in this thread about that. I believe Gary and I have gone off on tangents that deal with females victimising men through prostitution, and the fact that women should be grateful that men have shouldered the burden of providing for the family and doing all the hard work. And my point is that it is in fact women who do most of the hard work and have done it throughout history.

highway80west · 04-11-2008, 11:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by waitingtables

You have stated that men do most of the heavy lifting, meaning that men's work is more important. My statement is relating to the fact that what is considered women's work, is also the important work. And men contribute to that in a lesser fashion in most cases. If they are out being the bread winner, they don't have as much time to contribute to that kind of work. It sounds now like you are trying to have your cake and eat it too.

And my example is not given to illicit advice about my relationship, nutty. Even when my husband does pitch in around the house, it usually is not to my standards anyway. I would not divorce him over having to do most of the household work, and that includes the finances and bill paying, I'm making a point about what I see men doing. And as I said, even when women work full time, they still have to do most everything else. And my kids are not excuses to stay, they are the important work of which I spoke.

And no Gary, my husband doesn't fix the car, and my older daughter is usually the one mowing the lawn, or I do it. So don't assume that I don't work outside as well. I like it to look fairly decent, so I have to do it sometimes.

And nutty, I have a great man in my life and I don't wish for any other one. It is very hard to find a man today, who works steadily, is faithful, and isn't out at the bar with his buddies after work. And let me tell you, from what I know of the husbands of friends and acquaintances, most husbands aren't contributing in a meaningful way to the household chores, it isn't just mine.

Tables: my sister and I live together. She is disabled, but she can do some chores. I cook, wash dishes, mow lawn (backyard only, we have gardeners that mow the front lawn), do laundry, vacuum, and I don't know what else.

I provide food, she pays for 1/2 of the dog food, her portion of the cable bill, although small; she pays for electricity, I pay for water bill.

If I had been married, I don't know what kind of life I would have with a wife. I could only cross that bridge if I got there.

My hat is off to you and your husband.

garysher · 04-11-2008, 03:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by waitingtables

You have stated that men do most of the heavy lifting, meaning that men's work is more important. My statement is relating to the fact that what is considered women's work, is also the important work. And men contribute to that in a lesser fashion in most cases. If they are out being the bread winner, they don't have as much time to contribute to that kind of work. It sounds now like you are trying to have your cake and eat it too.

And my example is not given to illicit advice about my relationship, nutty. Even when my husband does pitch in around the house, it usually is not to my standards anyway. I would not divorce him over having to do most of the household work, and that includes the finances and bill paying, I'm making a point about what I see men doing. And as I said, even when women work full time, they still have to do most everything else. And my kids are not excuses to stay, they are the important work of which I spoke.

And no Gary, my husband doesn't fix the car, and my older daughter is usually the one mowing the lawn, or I do it. So don't assume that I don't work outside as well. I like it to look fairly decent, so I have to do it sometimes.

Sounds like you married a real deadbeat

Or maybe we need to hear his side of the story.

And nutty, I have a great man in my life and I don't wish for any other one. It is very hard to find a man today, who works steadily, is faithful, and isn't out at the bar with his buddies after work.

You won't allow your husband to go out for a drink after a hard day's work?

Has he always been this pussy-whipped?

And let me tell you, from what I know of the husbands of friends and aquaintences, most husbands aren't contributing in a meaningful way to the houshold chores, it isn't just mine.

Let me guess - you're hearing that from your girlfriends, not from the men in question??

Funny, when I am enjoying a beer with my buddies after work, I have never heard a guy complaining that his wife doesn't help him enough with the manly chores or with paying the bills. Men accept that they will always have to burden the lion's share of that load.

I think the reality is that most women love to whine.

waitingtables · 04-11-2008, 07:59 PM

Gary, I am independent and don't expect other people to do for me, and don't really trust people enough to depend on others for much. As far as my husband goes, he doesn't drink much, and doesn't like hanging out after work with the same guys he was with all day, and would rather come home and eat dinner and spend time with the kids. He is as pussy whipped as any other husband is out there. And what don't you understand about men not bearing the lion's share any where near the amount that they used to. Today we all bear the lion's share just to survive and put food on the table. And as far as being married to a deadbeat goes, not even close. So he isn't as good at yard work or chores as some might be, but he makes up for that in other areas.

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