Thank you Gary here's the rest of that chapter:
Mat 24:1 THEN Jesus went out and departed from the temple, and His disciples came up to show Him the buildings of the temple.
Mat 24:2 And Jesus said to them, "Do you not see all these things? Assuredly, I say to you, not one stone shall be left here upon another, that shall not be thrown down."
Mat 24:3 Now as He sat on the Mount of Olives, the disciples came to Him privately, saying, "Tell us, when will these things be? And what will be the sign of Your coming, and of the end of the age?"
Mat 24:4 And Jesus answered and said to them: "Take heed that no one deceives you.
Mat 24:5 "For many will come in My name, saying, 'I am the Christ,' and will deceive many.
Mat 24:6 "And you will hear of wars and rumors of wars. See that you are not troubled; for all these things must come to pass, but the end is not yet.
Mat 24:7 "For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. And there will be famines, pestilences, and earthquakes in various places.
Mat 24:8 "All these are the beginning of sorrows.
Mat 24:9 "Then they will deliver you up to tribulation and kill you, and you will be hated by all nations for My name's sake.
Mat 24:10 "And then many will be offended, will betray one another, and will hate one another.
Mat 24:11 "Then many false prophets will rise up and deceive many.
Mat 24:12 "And because lawlessness will abound, the love of many will grow cold.
Mat 24:13 "But he who endures to the end shall be saved.
Mat 24:14 "And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in all the world as a witness to all the nations, and then the end will come.
Mat 24:15 "Therefore when you see the 'abomination of desolation, spoken of by Daniel the prophet, standing in the holy place" (whoever reads, let him understand),
Mat 24:16 "then let those who are in Judea flee to the mountains.
Mat 24:17 "Let him who is on the housetop not go down to take anything out of his house.
Mat 24:18 "And let him who is in the field not go back to get his clothes.
Mat 24:19 "But woe to those who are pregnant and to those who are nursing babies in those days!
Mat 24:20 "And pray that your flight may not be in winter or on the Sabbath.
Mat 24:21 "For then there will be great tribulation, such as has not been since the beginning of the world until this time, no, nor ever shall be.
Mat 24:22 "And unless those days were shortened, no flesh would be saved; but for the elect's sake those days will be shortened.
Mat 24:23 "Then if anyone says to you, 'Look, here is the Christ!' or 'There!' do not believe it.
Mat 24:24 "For false christs and false prophets will rise and show great signs and wonders to deceive, if possible, even the elect.
Mat 24:25 "See, I have told you beforehand.
Mat 24:26 "Therefore if they say to you, 'Look, He is in the desert!' do not go out; or 'Look, He is in the inner rooms!' do not believe it.
Mat 24:27 "For as the lightning comes from the east and flashes to the west, so also will the coming of the Son of Man be.
Mat 24:28 "For wherever the carcass is, there the eagles will be gathered together.
Mat 24:29 "Immediately after the tribulation of those days the sun will be darkened, and the moon will not give its light; the stars will fall from heaven, and the powers of the heavens will be shaken.
Mat 24:30 "Then the sign of the Son of Man will appear in heaven, and then all the tribes of the earth will mourn, and they will see the Son of Man coming on the clouds of heaven with power and great glory.
Mat 24:31 "And He will send His angels with a great sound of a trumpet, and they will gather together His elect from the four winds, from one end of heaven to the other.
Mat 24:32 "Now learn this parable from the fig tree: When its branch has already become tender and puts forth leaves, you know that summer is near.
Mat 24:33 "So you also, when you see all these things, know that it is near--at the doors!
Mat 24:34 "Assuredly, I say to you, this generation will by no means pass away till all these things take place.
Mat 24:35 "Heaven and earth will pass away, but My words will by no means pass away.
Mat 24:36 "But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven,but My Father only.
Mat 24:37 "But as the days of Noah were, so also will the coming of the Son of Man be.
Mat 24:38 "For as in the days before the flood, they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day that Noah entered the ark,
Mat 24:39 "and did not know until the flood came and took them all away, so also will the coming of the Son of Man be.
Mat 24:40 "Then two men will be in the field: one will be taken and the other left.
Mat 24:41 "Two women will be grinding at the mill: one will be taken and the other left.
Mat 24:42 "Watch therefore, for you do not know what hour your Lord is coming.
Mat 24:43 "But know this, that if the master of the house had known what hour the thief would come, he would have watched and not allowed his house to be broken into.
Mat 24:44 "Therefore you also be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect.
Mat 24:45 "Who then is a faithful and wise servant, whom his master made ruler over his household, to give them food in due season?
Mat 24:46 "Blessed is that servant whom his master, when he comes, will find so doing.
Mat 24:47 "Assuredly, I say to you that he will make him ruler over all his goods.
Mat 24:48 "But if that evil servant says in his heart, 'My master is delaying his coming,
Mat 24:49 "and begins to beat his fellow servants, and to eat and drink with the drunkards,
Mat 24:50 "the master of that servant will come on a day when he is not looking for him and at an hour that he is not aware of,
Mat 24:51 "and will cut him in two and appoint him his portion with the hypocrites. There shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

... just for the record - and for honesty's sake...not that these Bible thumping zealot wackjobs give a shit about honesty:

King James Bible
I tell you, in that night there shall be two men in one bed; the one shall be taken, and the other shall be left.
American King James Version
I tell you, in that night there shall be two men in one bed; the one shall be taken, and the other shall be left.
American Standard Version
I say unto you, In that night there shall be two men on one bed; the one shall be taken, and the other shall be left.
Bible in Basic English
I say to you, In that night there will be two men sleeping in one bed, and one will be taken away and the other let go.
Douay-Rheims Bible
I say to you: in that night there shall be two men in one bed; the one shall be taken, and the other shall be left.
Darby Bible Translation
I say to you, In that night there shall be two men upon one bed; one shall be seized and the other shall be let go.
English Revised Version
I say unto you, In that night there shall be two men on one bed; the one shall be taken, and the other shall be left.
Webster's Bible Translation
I tell you, in that night there will be two men in one bed; the one will be taken, and the other will be left.
Weymouth New Testament
On that night, I tell you, there will be two men in one bed: one will be taken away and the other left behind.
World English Bible
I tell you, in that night there will be two people in one bed. The one will be taken, and the other will be left.
Young's Literal Translation
'I say to you, In that night, there shall be two men on one couch, the one shall be taken, and the other shall be left;

Psst... Tristan.
That two men in a bed thing sounds sorta... gay.

And you KNOW the Bible, well, some version of it, is totally against that.

I mean, none of the 11 versions you quoted are, but there are dozens of other "exact translations" of God's Word to choose from!

What are you trying to prove?

Here are some thoughts on Christianity, and religion in general:

“People go to church for the same reasons they go to a tavern: to stupefy themselves, to forget their misery, to imagine themselves, for a few minutes anyway, free and happy” - Mikhail Bakunin

"Religious suffering is, at one and the same time, the expression of real suffering and a protest against real suffering. Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world, and the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opium of the people." - K. Marx

"In heaven, all interesting people are missing" - F. Nietzsche.

With the likes of garysher and Falwell in heaven I would rather be in hell. I buy the first round by the lake o' fire

I'll bring the hotdogs and marshmellows!

I've got a lovely spot already reserved...It's going to be one heck of a BBQ. Free bar too.

are you auditioning for the sling blade understudy?



you have no idea what my post was about? really?

And since all gay people go to hell automatically, I have to believe the place is immaculately decorated.

What a shame that we will have to share the place with the likes of Ted Haggard and Larry Craig. Ah well, we will straighten them out soon enough! (Pardon the pun.)

Since Ali has called dibs on the marshmallows, I'll dig up some toasting forks...